We met at a dive bar on the edge of town. It was one of those nights where you go out because you made a promise to go out. Against what you think is your better judgement, you hastily decide that your current hair updo is fine, that your haphazard makeup job will suffice; and who to impress really. And everyone can go fuck themselves if they make a comment to the contrary. I remember standing in front of mirror, half still asleep (dang night shifts) and thinking to myself, “how much would they kill me if I went back to bed”. But I trudged out the door, jumped into a cold car and drove across town to pick up willing participant number one.
Enter Natalie. She’s that type of girl that if she wasn’t my friend I would probably hate her. Married, one child, Ethan. Perfect husband, nice house. Add that to the fact that she is fantastic at her job, and…….yeah I’m starting to hate her now.
I remember she jumped into the car and we immediately begin the late 20 something year old gossip succession of the last week. Work, family, boys, men. All the while I drove innocently to a place I can no longer think the same about.
It’s funny when you think back to the moment exactly before you walked into something that will change your life. I remember walking up to the front door of that bar. I remember swinging the door open. I remember my other friend Racy standing there. She immediately began to chastise us for being late. I remember a group standing directly behind her, clearly enjoying our best friend for years bickering session about punctuality. And I remember that baseball hat, and those eyes and that black jacket.
It’s funny how you don’t expect a train to hit you.
It’s a weird concept. I think about that moment when I was opening that door. My life was normal before then (or so I thought). Such a small moment before such a life altering event. God was laughing in that moment, I know it. I think he gets a kick out of the lessons he hands us.
We had friends in common, as we found out into our second beer. Our groups had merged. I just had this feeling that something was magical between us. The way he looked at me, the way I he smiled. I reminded myself to keep it in check through out the night. The simple silver band on his left hand did a good job at that. Someone else. I kept telling myself that my mind was playing tricks on itself, and that I was an idiot.
Racy and Natalie could see it, and I knew it. On a trip back up to the bar Racy gave me the “don’t you even dare, I will kill you” stare. I acknowledged it. The group spoke for hours, soon Natalie had consumed to much Bacardi and Racy began complaining about the early work morning. It was decided to call it a night.
A gin buzz is never something to have when making important decisions like how to get home. Especially when the idea of sharing a taxi involves you, him and a short distance between the two stops. Gin will give you the courage of wonder woman, and so wonder woman picked up his phone and dialed her own. And THAT ladies and gentleman is where I, Annie Marie McLean, learned my first lesson of this journey.
When one gets a new number in one’s phone. One tends to send a text to it the next night, after replaying the previous night in her head, over and over, and over.
Lesson learned. line crossed.
girlinprogress2013 